His now damp t-shirt hanging over his shoulder, Jason led the way back
to the cabin. There was just as much stumbling and cursing on their return journey as there had been on their first journey
that day and there was even more to talk about. Jason’s face seemed to remain permanently red as the days events would
just not be dropped. He was rather pleased when Zack manage to trip over a tree root and land flat on his face. What else
could he feel; the boy in black deserved a bit of humiliation after today.
It had been bad enough being so close to Tommy as he had pulled himself
close but what had happened after was just plain humiliating. Jason wasn’t sure how on earth he would manage to share
a bed with the new boy after such a day. First waking up so close, their arms wrapped around each other in the manner of lovers;
okay that had thrilled Jason slightly but only because of the silly notions Trini and Kim had instilled in him. Then Tommy
pressing himself so close to him he could feel the warmth of his breath tickling his skin, yet again that had, had a strange
affect upon Jason, but only because of the notions – plus it led into what would be the most excruciatingly embarrassing
part of the day. He cringed just thinking about it. Tommy was feeling just as bad, if not worse. He had not meant to pull
down Jason’s jeans, boxers included, but it had happened and it had caused them both much embarrassment, whilst giving
the other boys a great laugh.
Now semi-dressed, both males were traipsing though the undergrowth - their
soaking wet t-shirts hanging over their shoulders. They were followed closely by Zack and Billy who had been forced into lugging
all the equipments back with them. It was either that or end up in the lake the same way as Jason and Tommy had done. With
the green ranger’s evil past and Jason’s rather pissed off manner both thought it best to oblige without a fight.
Sighing slightly with relief at the sight of the cabin the group picked
up pace, Tommy and Jason entering the house first, quickly followed by Billy and Zack who immediately dropped the stuff that
was filling their hands.
Jason allowed himself a little smirk as he saw Kim’s eyes widen at
the sight of Tommy’s half-dressed, muscular frame, in front of her, “Wh… What happened?”
“Don’t ask,” he muttered in return as he and Tommy both
headed to their room to change into something a little more comfortable and a little drier. Say, something preferably drier
than the ocean. Needless to say the girls would have a complete and unabridged version of the day’s events by the time
Padding into the room behind Jason, Tommy discarded his sopping wet
t-shirt and pawed through his, still packed, bag for a change of clothes. Finding a fresh pair of jeans and a green flannel
shirt, along with some new boxers, he turned his back to Jason and began to change in silence. Seeming to mirror the movement
Jason also began to change, no words passing between the pair. As he pulled up his jeans Tommy found himself looking in the
full length mirror stood beside him, which was catching an un-broken image of a changing Jason. I shouldn’t be looking
at this, really I shouldn’t. Look away Tom, look away. As Jason quickly discarded his boxers and pulled on his new
pair Tommy felt himself blush slightly at the sight. He really shouldn’t have seen that but part of him couldn’t
tear his eyes off the mirror, despite knowing what was about to happen. I really, really got to talk to someone.
Leaving the room together as soon as they had changed, Jason and Tommy
emerged into the living room to a chorus of laughter and whistling. It was going to be a long night if this was the mood they
were in. Tommy silently wondered whose patience would snap first. Would the Evil Green Ranger re-emerge for one night only
or would they see a whole new side to the peaceful one in red. From the way Jason skulked into the kitchen, his face matching
the bright red colour of his t-shirt, Tommy was willing to bet his life’s savings that the red one would snap first.
“Please, please, please tell us what they are saying is true?”
Trini begged, giggling hysterically. It was only a joke among friends but jokes at someone’s expense always hurt and
their teasing was really beginning to infuriate Jason.
“What would we achieve from concocting up such an elaborate tale
as the one we have reiterated to you, Trinni,” Billy was trying, he really was, but sometimes it was fun to let the
techno-babble spill out, just to confuse us his friends if nothing else.
“Yeah, whatever he said,” assured Zack, slightly bemused but
somehow getting the gist of his genius friend’s words. He had spent way too much time around Billy recently.
“So, Jase, do Trini and I get so see the show too?” Kim’s
voice was teasing and sing-songy, had she not been a girl, and one of his best friends, Tommy was sure Jason would have challenged
her on the spot, either that or knocked her unconscious with a single well-aimed blow. Fortunately he couldn’t do that,
no matter how much he wanted to beat the pulp out of something, anything, right now. Instead he just turned around and glared
at her before skulking off to the kitchen to try and avoid further annoyance. He couldn’t snap, not now, not ever. This
was calm, dependable Jason who never allowed a cross word to be said between his friends. How could he flip out now? Hypocrite
wouldn’t quite cover it.
“Come on Jase, everyone else got to; you’re making us
feel left out.” Oh great, now Trini is joining in, this isn’t going to be pretty, Tommy thought silently
to himself, if he squeezes that glass any harder it’s going to… too late.
“Damn!” There were a few other choice words Jason decided
to share with the gang at that moment as he looked down at the large piece of glass protruding from his hand and the other
shards laying across the bench. Jason wasn’t known for a foul mouth and blaspheming, so it came rather as a shock to
the group to hear him speak like that. Note to self, when frustrated do not squeeze a glass or even remotely tighten grip
on said glass.
A look of anxiety spread across Kim’s face as she went to help him
clean up the mess. She quickly swept them up and discarded the other shards into the bin before physically forcing Jason to
sit down at the table.
“Sit, don’t move, I’ll go get the first aid kit from
the bathroom. The rest of you guys want to make yourselves scarce for a little while?” Kim appeared to be suggesting
that they leave but they all knew it was actually an order in disguise.
“Tom, Billy you want to come shoot some hoops outside? You too, T.”
Zack asked trying to be his usual exuberant self by bouncing up and down on the spot, slightly. They all realised the teasing
had gone too far today. Jason just hadn’t been himself the past few days and now it was time for Kim to try and get
out of him what was wrong; a damn near impossible task for anyone not quite as stubborn as the pint-sized, pink princess.
Sometimes they had to wonder why she had not been made leader because when she wanted something done, she made she got it
As Billy nodded and began to head to the door with Zack they were all caught
off guard by what was said next, “Erm, I thought I might show Trini the way to the lake. She’s the only one who
hasn’t been before so it might be an idea for her to find out.” Damn did that come out as bad as I think it
did, Tommy asked himself.
Sensing the slight tension in his voice, Trini nodded and accepted the
offer, trying her best to avoid the smirks and winks she was receiving from the others. They all immediately assumed Tommy
wanted to get up to something no good with Trini out by the lake, alone. Either that or he was going for a full blown, romantic
confession of his love for her, or, he was going to ask her advice on Kim and how to make her fall in love with him, which
probably wouldn’t be too hard going by the pink rangers facial expressions from earlier. It was quite surprising Kim
hadn’t tripped over her jaw yet as it seemed to be permanently on the floor whenever Tommy was around. Trini, however,
knew better. Something was up and Tommy had chosen her to talk to, that much was obvious; only to her apparently, but still
obvious. For the life of her she couldn’t imagine why she would choose her to come to over Jason, the one member of
the group he was certainly closest to. Unless… nah, it couldn’t be anything to do with Jason… could it?
I should really think before I speak. I should have guessed they would
all think I had some thing for Trini after that little suggestion. Two friends, alone in the woods, down by the lake, it seemed
too much like a romantic comedy for me to suggest it, but then again the others might think I am some hapless romantic who
likes to go around wooing girls. Yeah, right! Couldn’t be any further from the truth if they tried. Besides, they may
find out sooner than they think as to why I asked Trini to come on a walk with me.
Trini was the only one I could ask about this. There was Kim, but indirectly
it involves Kim. How could I ask her about something as big as this when I know she has feelings for me? It would be insensitive
and down right mean. Plus, I would never be able to truly trust her advice. I know she would never do anything to intentionally
hurt me, or the others, but she could also have played a game to get what she wanted. I know I shouldn’t let that absurd
little idea mar my thoughts about Kimberly because that is all it is; an absurd little idea. She would never actually be like
that but I still can’t help but wonder. I find it so hard to trust people as it is that I’m not going to take
any chances with this lot. Then again, I guess I already have. Here is this bunch of wonderful, compassionate people who I
try and kill and yet they still welcome me into their friendship group and treat me as a friend, even if it was somewhat reluctantly
at first. They just seemed to walk straight through my defences and into my heart, with Jason leading the way for them all.
I guess I could have turned to Zack but I don’t know if he would
have been serious enough to be able to handle this. My head is so messed up right now the last thing I need is someone cracking
jokes at my expense because they were uncomfortable with the situation. I guess on some levels I know Zack wouldn’t
actually do that, that he would actually take this seriously and be the good friend I so sorely need right now but, like with
Kim, I just can’t be sure. It’s a tough and uncomfortable situation which I’m just not sure Zack will be
able to handle without comedy. Plus I’m not entirely sure how he’ll react to what I have to say either and I don’t
want to go turning him against me just because my head is a little messed up. Besides, he can barely keep his mouth shut long
enough to listen to my problem let alone long enough to keep it a secret from everyone else.
If I wanted a secret kept there was always Billy. Quiet, shy, dependable
Billy who I knew would listen and not judge but, then again, Billy was weary of me he seemed unsure of himself around me.
Just like I felt around him. He felt weak and pathetic I felt stupid and bumbling. He would’ve made a good choice had
we both known each other a little longer; I am quite a good judge of personality after all so I think I’m right about
this situation. I admire Billy, I really do. He doesn’t care what others think, just like me, and gets along with the
people around him by simply trying to be himself, which I guess is where the similarities end because right now I don’t
seem to be being myself around them. Then again I don’t even know who my real self is any more. Had I just felt that
little bit more confident around Billy - yes I’m actually rather insecure around the super-intelligent boy in blue -
then maybe I would have had the courage to talk to him. Like I said, I am rather a good judge of character.
Well I hope I am or choosing Trini could be one hell of a huge mistake.
There was never any question of talking to Jason about this, not with the current situation and certainly not after what happened
today in the lake. He’s my Bro; I don’t want to loose that by sharing my queries and qualms with him. I know that
is what friends are supposed to do but this relationship is still in the very early stages and I don’t think either
of us, no matter how close, could quite deal with the repercussions of a serious discussion like the one I need right now.
His friendship means to much to me to mess it up when I am still not sure and secure in my place as his, or any of the others’,
friend. I may not have known any of them for a great length of time but I just feel this connection with all of them, Jason
especially, and it’s not just because of the Rangering, there is a real bond their, a real friendship. I don’t
want to loose that so early on before it can develop into a real, rock-solid, steady friendship. I’ve never had anything
like that before, I’ve never been so open with my feels and emotions towards others either. I guess I just never thought
I was the type to have a “friendship network”. I was always more the loner kid, on the outskirts looking in, not
one of the ones to be on the inside. Then again, I think all of us are like that. A group of misfits who fit quite well together.
Okay we do all have the separate cliques we could go into but none of us entirely fit in there. Jason could hang around with
all the jocks, he is captain of the football team after all, but he has too much of a pure heart and too much compassion and
thought for others to fit in there completely. Same goes with Kim and the cheerleaders, she isn’t a much of an airhead
as most of them and certainly not as too faced. Zack could go and join all the artsy drama students who like to dance and
act like he does but he is too full of energy to fit in there; plus I don’t think he could handle the extra energy he
would get from drinking all those weird frothy coffees they all seem to order. Then there is Billy, the most intelligent guy
in school he could run his own clique rather than just be one of the followers. All the “geeks” (I hate labelling
like that but for these purposes I will do) admire and look up to Billy, they would practically worship him if given half
the chance but Billy isn’t just a “geek. He has street smarts now and a bit of an edge to him; a hidden attitude
that just doesn’t fit with the genius persona. Trini could fit in quite easily with Billy’s lot too, she’s
super smart but, like Billy, she has that edge to her which just defines her from the rest. She could go and join all the
animal rights activists and people like that but, ye again, she just has that edge which would stop her completely submerging
into that group. Maybe it’s because they’ve all been friends for so long that they have that same defining edge
which cuts them out from the rest, but then why would I fit in with them? Yep, then there is me. I could be hanging out with
a load of rebels and leathered up biker types – much more like my old LA mates – but I’m not. I guess it’s
because, deep down under the old Evil green ranger façade, I have a pure heart, I do care about others and I could never bully
anyone the way Bulk and Skull do. I just don’t have it in me. Oh, that and the fact I talk to myself way to much.
So Trini it is. I’m sure I’ve made the right choice. Quiet,
calm, peaceful Trini, she never judges anyone and is more accepting than anyone I’ve ever known. She is so level headed
and liberal, she takes everything in her stride and doesn’t let anything, or anyone, faze her. I could tell her I was
really Lord Zedd’s secret love child to Zordon’s Mom and she would still be supportive. Okay, well maybe that
is taking things I touch too far. Hell, I don’t even want to think about Lord Zedd and the process of making a baby
so I got to stop this train of thought before I get some pretty freaky images in my head. So what was I saying, well, thinking?
Oh yeah, Trini wont let this bother her, she’ll support me no matter what, I know she will. She will take it all in
her stride. I know I can trust her with my secret, spill out all this stuff which has been eating me up inside and not have
to worry about it getting back to the others. Also, I know for a fact she’ll be able to give me some pretty good advice.
She seems to be the one who, along with Jason, holds the group together through the hardest of times.
So here I am stumbling along through the woods, Trini beside me, an awkward
silence surrounding us. I have to say something soon. This silence will eat away at me until I confess why I really asked
her to come out to the lake. Oh god, I really hope she doesn’t think I’m going to pounce on her like some sex-starved
maniac. What am I thinking? Trini is a much better judge of character than that! Then again, she hasn’t known me very
long and I don’t think anyone, other than Jason and Kim, was too keen on me coming up here. Although, Trini wouldn’t
have agreed to come out here on her own if she thought I was going to try and force her into something she didn’t want
to do or I was suddenly going to turn back into the Green Ranger and kill her in cold blood before going back and murdering
all the others as well. She’s giving me an odd look, maybe that’s just because I physical shook my head to rid
me of those thoughts. Great, she may not think I am some psychotic killer but she bound to think I am some delusional psycho
at least! Right the lake isn’t much further; just keep your mouth firmly shut till, and you head perfectly still, you
get there, Thomas James Oliver, and all will be okay.
I know what she is going to do. Apart from cleaning up my hand that is,
she sent everyone out for a reason. She’ll say she didn’t send them anywhere, she just asked them if they
wanted to leave but we all know, me especially, that it was one of her hidden threats. I’ve been on the receiving end
of that tone too many times before not to have caught on to what it means by now. She’s going to ask what’s eating
away at me and I’m going to have to give her an answer because I always cave to Kim. She’s the only one none of
us can hide anything from. She’s too damn stubborn to let anyone hurt in silence. She’s been like that since we
were kids. Billy was getting bullied; Kim was the first one to find out. Trini’s Grandma got sick; Kim was the first
to know. Zack was terrified of the dark and was scared stiff to come to any of our sleepovers; Kim found out first. And, Kim
always managed to fix everything somehow, so maybe it would be okay to tell her what is up. Hell no! She can’t fix this
and by telling her I would only make it worse for everyone involved.
“Argh!” Since when did she get so vicious with her first aid
skills? I suppose quick and sudden is better than taking your time and drawing out the pain. At least that chuck of glass
is out of my palm now. Seriously, are they just making it thinner and thinner nowadays, I wasn’t squeezing it that hard.
Well, okay, maybe I was but still!
I can tell she’s sorry for what happened before; she thinks she’s
to blame. I can tell by the slightly misty eyed look she is now sporting. The way she is being extra gentle now, too, carefully
pressing antiseptic wipe to my palm, doing her best to stem the bleeding. There isn’t much that blood to stem actually;
the cut obviously wasn’t as deep as it first appeared.
I can tell by the look in her eyes she is going to ask me. It’s burning
away at her, I know she’s desperate to get to the bottom of my current mood swing; she can’t bear to see me like
this. She can’t bare to see anyone like this. She’s one of the most compassionate people I know but how can I
tell her that she is the one causing this. If it hadn’t been for her and Trini my mind wouldn’t be so confused
with all these little notions and thoughts. I wouldn’t keep wondering about what had happened today in the lake. I wouldn’t
keep analysing my every thought about Tommy.
Okay, yeah, I admit it, he is cute. He’s strong and independent and
he’s the only person who will ever understand the kind of position I’m in. He is the only person I’ve ever
felt such a bond with, especially after such a short period of time and the fact that when I first got to know him he was
hell bent on killing me and my friends and destroying the world kind of adds to how miraculous such a bond is. Yeah, he may
look cute, but, boy, he certainly isn’t. He would probably be great to date, only one problem. He’s most likely
straight. See. One very big problem considering I am a guy and not straight. He’s my best friend and he’s most
likely going to fall in love with my other best friend, Kim. After all she is pretty, and dainty, and intelligent and everything
any straight guy would want, so why wouldn’t he fall in love with her. They would be a perfect match, one of those destined
couples you hear so much about on bad reality TV or cheesy TV dating shows where the host coos on about when they need to
buy a new hat.
Oh no, I can tell in her posture she’s going to say something. Please
no, just a minute longer to sort my head out, please. I’m begging you here Kim, keep your mouth shut for just a moment
longer, just one more moment that is all I ask for. Just to let me straighten out my mind, please.
“So, what’s eating you?” Damn it, how come mind over
matter works the rest of the time, just not when you want it to, eh?
Shrugging it off as best I can I reply as casually as possible, “Nothing’s
eating me, Kim. I was just getting sick of being talked about, that’s all.” See, I can lie to her and get away
with it. She may know me about as well as I know myself and acted as if she was my little sister for most of our lives but
that doesn’t mean I can’t lie to her and get away with it.
“Don’t give me that bull Jason. I’ve known you since
preschool for heaven’s sake! I’d hope that by now I can tell when you are feeding me a line just to pacify me.”
Okay, maybe not.
Sighing I cave in and admit the truth, “You and Trini have just messed
up my head recently with all those little notions of yours and it’s just making me a little extra wound up…Especially
after recent circumstances and occurrences. I just got sick of all the teasing, more so because I knew the double entendres
attached to it whereas Tommy didn’t. It’s not fair it’s like you are laughing at his expense because of
my sexual orientation and that fact you think I like him.” I said I would admit the truth, doesn’t mean
I’m going to give her the whole truth. That would just be too much for either of us to handle. Hell, I don’t even
know the full truth about what is going on in my head and my heart right now.
“I’m sorry Jase,” Her voice is quiet now and her eyes
are glimmering with a shine that looks suspiciously like unshed tears. I think she realises, finally, how much her taunting
and teasing was hurting me, “We didn’t mean to poke fun at you just because your chosen lifestyle is different
from we chose. We thought we were just being supportive friends at first, you know, showing we weren’t put off by the
fact you like guys. Sill showing an interest like we would’ve done had you liked girls. I guess after a while it just
got out of hand and became kind of farcical. We didn’t mean it to, we just got a bit carried away making jokes at your
expense, which is very wrong of us and I am wholeheartedly sorry for that. Really I am.”
“It’s okay Kim,” I soothe doing my best to comfort her.
That prospect seems rather odd as I am sure the way this was meant to go was her soothing me… ah well it’s not
like there is someone out there writing this to make sure it goes according to plan. It just writes itself as it goes along.
That’s life I guess. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Well you do, but so do I and I forgive you for the past.
Why? Because that is what friends do and I know you would do the same for me. Plus, it’s the past, not much use baring
a grudge in the present.”
She’s smiling now. I think my little pep talk worked. I don’t
know how I come up with this stuff; I think I’ve spent too much time around Trini. Probably one of the better qualities
I’ve inherited by coming leader, too. The ability to reassure everyone no matter what the circumstance. Now if I could
only reassure myself…
Zack and Billy passed the ball back and forth between themselves listlessly.
They had been outside shooting hoops for about half an hour and they had discussed everything and anything apart from their
thoughts on what was going on inside and what was going on down by the lake.
“So what do you make of all this?” Billy asked wistfully throwing
his arm out to his surroundings to indicate he meant the current situation not them playing ball.
“To be brutally honest bro, I have no clue what to make of it all.
I reckon Tommy is giving some heartfelt confession to Trini right now, but what about I don’t know. With him it could
range from anything from his Evil days in green to being madly in love with both her and Kim and finding out whether or not
he could have both,” Zack said in a carefree manner, still confused by the whole situation, before throwing in a joke
for good measure, “At the same time.”
Bill couldn’t help but scoff slightly at Zack’s absurd sense
of humour, “Yeah well I agree about the confession part and as for Jason and Kim that is pretty self explanatory. She
feels bad for being so cruel to him and teasing him so mercilessly when he is obviously very confused and certainly thrown
off course by the latest developments in this weird little play we are all acting out.”
Zack looked confused, “I mean life,” Billy explained his metaphor
which earned him an “Ahh” and a nod of the head from his life-long friend.
“You’re right though, it is kind of self explanatory for the
whole Jase and Kim thing, particularly since we all feel just a bad as she does and are just as much to blame for not putting
a stop to it earlier,” Billy did his best to hide his shock at Zack’s, rather out of character, profound comment.
Nodding slightly the boys lapsed back into an easy silence throwing the
ball lethargically back and fourth – not even bothering to attempt to shoot - until Billy had a sudden though.
“You reckon with all this drama going on with the others we’ll
most likely get totally ignored and over looked apart from the odd line or two here and there?”
“Yup, it’s looking that way already.”
(Back at the lake and no attacks on Trini later…)
Right I really need to say something. It’s been ten whole minutes
and neither of us has said a word. I guess she knows what is going on and is just waiting for me to go first. Damn it, why
couldn’t she just make some small talk then I could pretend it was getting late and we better head back so I don’t
have to do this. Yeah, that’s the way. Jut chicken out and run away allowing all your problems to eat away inside at
you until your friends have no clue as to who they are actually friends with any more. Good plan, Tommy, good plan.
Right time to bite the bullet… Time to take the plunge… Time
to face my fear… Time to stand up and be counted as a man… Time to stop coming up with these lame distraction
clichés about what you are going to do and actually do it.
“Look Trini, I kind of got you out here under false pretences for
a pretty selfish reason.” Yeah that sounded okay, not too ridiculous or evil and at least I didn’t come off as
some psychotic stalker, I hope.
“I thought so somehow, Tommy. So are you going to confess the real
reason to me and get this weight off your shoulders and release yourself from the burden off your secret?”
How does she do that? She’s laughing slightly. I wonder why? Oh,
could have something to do with the fact I literally let my jaw hang open in astonishment at her last comment. Yeah, ow, I
definitely recommend not letting it hit the floor. Think I might have cracked it in a few places, damn in ability to
“Oh, sorry, you caught me off guard with that last bit. I guess if
you knew that already coming to you was the right thing to do after all. It’s just… God I just don’t know,
Trini. I’m so confused over things and I just don’t know what to do. All this time I thought I was one thing and
now I think I am another. I just don’t know how to deal with it. I’m kind of confused but the more I think about
it the more certain I am that I’m not always who I thought I was. I’m just too scared to admit it. I’m scared
to loose you all. I don’t usually admit things like that but I don’t usually let people this close. I’ve
never had friends like you lot, but you guys just barged straight past my defences and accepted me for who I was, not who
I appeared to be. I guess I’m just frightened that who you thought I was isn’t the same as the person I actually
Okay, breathe Tommy, breath. I really should have taken more breaths during
that little monologue there. It is an essential part of life, breathing. Shame I forget how to do it from time to time.
“Right, Tommy, just breathe okay.” Damn, really, how does she
do that? “I think I get the gist of what you are saying so let me just reassure you that no matter what you tell me
I will never judge you. You are my friend Tommy and I love all my friends equally for who they are. Nothing you could say
could convince me to hate you, unless you suddenly decided you were going to go on a killing spree and massacre the lot of
us ‘cause no matter how annoying Zack can be I think a multiple homicide is over-kill.”
She’s smiling and making jokes so she must be okay with the situation.
She’s just trying to soothe and calm me long enough to tell her what is up. I knew I’d made the right choice coming
“Look Trini, I’ll understand if you are going to be totally
disgusted at me for what I am about to say but I really need to tell someone and you have to promise not to breathe a word
of this to any of the others.” How lame do I sound?
“Okay Tommy, I promise. This doesn’t have anything to do with
strange fantasies involving me and Kim does it?” Where the hell did she get that suspicion from? Okay I must be looking
at her funnily as she seems to answer my question without me even asking it, “It’s just something Zack came up
with.” Should have known it would have something to do with the comedic black ranger. Must remember to thank him for
that wonderful insight into my psyche later; maybe acquaint him quite intamately with the lake?
“No,” I shake my head solemnly averting my gaze from hers as
I can’t keep eye contact with her a moment longer, “Zack couldn’t be any further from the truth.”
A long silence seems to stretch between us as I rack my mind for a way
to express everything I want to say. I’ve never been good at articulating. Brooding is a much easier card to play, just
stand around looking moody and convey everything with one look, much easier than actually saying anything.
“Look, Trini, I… I don’t know how to say this so I’m
just going to come out and say it. Maybe then you’ll understand why I don’t want any of the others to know just
yet. Look, Trini, I think… actually no, I know… I know for certain I’m… I’m gay.”
Okay another more awkward silence maybe I should say something.
“I understand if you hate me, think I’m disgusting and never
want to speak to me again but whatever you do, please don’t tell the others just yet. I couldn’t handle loosing
all of you at once. Plus it wouldn’t be any good for the team. If you all really are against me then I’ll give
up my powers and have nothing more to do with you all. Please just let me enjoy this fantasy for a little while longer. I’ve
never had friendships or opportunities like this before and I don’t want to have to give them up so soon. I never knew
how much I would like having a life like this, I guess secretly I’ve always dreamed of being accepted somewhere and
having a real, solid, meaningful friendship based on important things rather than the shambles of friendships I had back in
LA. Please let me keep living this dream for a little while longer, I’m not ready to give it up just yet.” Okay
this is why I should learn to keep my mouth shut and not ramble. That way I don’t spill out my heart, make a fool of
myself and lay me heart, and sanity, and powers now I come to think of it, on the line. Note to self, must engage brain before
“Oh Tommy.” Why is her voice so sincere? She should be yelling
at me, running away, slapping me or throwing things at me. Then again, maybe it’s a good sign that she isn’t.
Maybe I was right, maybe she, along with the others, isn’t homophobic and wont hate me for who I am.
“Tommy, I could never hate you for that. Neither could any of the
others. Just because you prefer men to women doesn’t make us love you any less,” Might make a certain one of us
love you a little bit more actually, “You are still Tommy Oliver, our friend, Green Ranger and one time assassin who
tried to destroy us. Hey – I guess if we can love you despite you trying to kill us I think we can love you just because
you want to date guys not girls.”
I lean across and pull him into a loving, reassuring embrace. I know it’s
what he needs right now, especially since I can’t think straight long enough to say any more comforting words to him
than the ones that have already tumbled from my mouth. Tommy is gay. Jason is gay. Tommy likes Jason, I’m pretty sure
of it or he would have told Jason about this first and not me. Plus he wouldn’t have been so bothered about today’s
events at the lake. Only now does it hit me why both men are so bothered about everything which is going on and why they both
are so up tight. Unrequited love does funny things to people. Maybe the little “notions” Kim and I have been putting
into Jason’s head aren’t quite as fabricated as he would like us to believe. Oh God, this is so confusing. And
frustrating, let’s not forget frustrating.
“Come on, let’s head back.” I’m not sure how I
managed to get my mouth and brain working in sync long enough to say that sentence but somehow I made the suggestion and soon
we are traipsing back through the forest to the cabin.
My mind is a whir with thoughts of the complexities which are consequences
of what I’ve just been told. I can’t fix this. I can’t make this have a happy ending, and why? Because I’ve
been sworn by both parties not to say a word. They both trust me to keep their secret and not say a word to either of them
and there is no way I can match make. I’m not Kim. I’m not good at that sort of thing. I can be subtle but I can’t
be manipulative and scheming, even if it is in the best interest of both my friends. Besides I don’t have any solid
proof just yet, just instinct and I’m not gong to trust that entirely after the shock revelation I’ve just been
given. What on earth am I supposed to do? I can’t just sit back and let these two people, destined for each other, keep
avoiding their feelings because they are too scared to loose their friendship. Men! They are so ignorant to emotion. Okay,
I can’t really say that considering the heartfelt confessions they both gave but still… Tommy and Jason have both
trusted me with their secret and I can’t betray that just to make the even happier. For all I know Tommy could be in
love with Zack or Billy rather than Jason and where would that leave me? With multiple broken friendships and all my friends
upset. What about Kimberly? She told me earlier about her feelings for Tommy; I couldn’t possibly tell her without breaking
Tommy’s trust in me. The longer she keeps on pining after him, though, the harder it will be for her to make a clean
brake when she finds out he is actually homosexual and not straight. Oh, this is just one big mess and I can’t fix it
because I can’t break their trust. It is the one sacred vow I have ever made with my friends and I would never betray
that – ever. It’ll just have to wait until he tells them all.
I guess I’m just going to have to keep my mouth shut and pray this
all works out okay, for everyone’s sake.